Tag Archives: teachers

kickstart my heart

December 31, 2015 By in teaching and coaching Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

it’s new year’s eve…the end of one year and the beginning of another…a time to think back on all that’s happened…a time to reflect on life…

with that in mind, let me tell you one of the best stories of 2015–it happened about four weeks ago…

…

so, there i was…

out on the street corner in downtown minneapolis, waiting for a cab to take me and my friend, LA, down to the motley crue concert — final tour, baby! 🙂

and there’s a couple (husband and wife) waiting for a cab right by us…so, we start talking to them…small talk…which normally i hate…but, i’m “super-amped”…i’ve always wanted to see the crue in concert (and my amazing wife got me a ticket for christmas!)…and, here i am…in this surreal place, within hours of the metal storm that will ensue…so, i engage…

turns out, that the couple we’re talking to is going to the concert as well…they make special mention of really wanting to see the opening act–alice cooper–which takes me a little bit off-guard…i’ve never heard anyone say that before 🙂

anyways, i don’t judge it (i’m seeing motley crue, after all;)…and they seem friendly and as excited as we are to see the show…so, we continue to wait for the cab, which takes way longer than it should to pick us up…so, as the conversation goes on, it turns out that they’re from the town that i teach in…so, right away, upon hearing that, my shields go up, i pull back and regard them suspiciously…

and i think to myself, do they know my school?!

[LA recognizes this reaction, he’s seen it before…occasionally, i’ve crossed paths from community members and parents that are familiar with the alternative/career-technical school that i teach at…usually it turns out o.k., but you never know how it’s going to go–because of our school…because despite having amazing teachers who do amazing things for students…we’ve been fighting some negative perceptions and stereotypes for years…as an example, some of the reactions we get sound like this…oh, you work at the ‘alt-school’ (the tone lets you know what they really think–that it’s not a real school, it’s not real education, it’s just a place for outcasts and throwaways)]

and i know it’s coming…the what do you do for a living question…so, i come clean and tell them where i work…

[at this moment, i risk a side glance towards LA and i can tell that he’s ready to jump in and change the subject, if need be–possibly even throw down, if necessary…he’s a good man to have watching your back, if things get tense]

and then, the most unexpected thing happens…

immediately, the woman’s eyes light up…and she smiles…

[important thing to note here–she seems sober 🙂 ]

she goes, NO WAY–WE LOVE THAT SCHOOL–YOUR SCHOOL SAVED MY SON’S LIFE (turns out he was a student at my school a couple of years back and he and his family had some really tough years)–anyways…

she gives me a hug (i’m pretty sure she’s sober, seriously 🙂 …the cab arrives…and that’s that!

so, with that story in mind, i’d like to raise a glass to all my colleagues–here’s to you and the work you do! cheers!

happy new year and rock on!

teacher blob

September 26, 2014 By in observations, teaching and coaching Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

i love the movie freedom writers…it is one of the most inspiring movies about teaching that i’ve ever seen…

there’s one part (see below) that gets me every single time–can’t help it…

 

at the same time, one of the things that “smells funny” about the story freedom writers is that…

you get the idea that there’s no student erin gruwell can’t connect to, can’t reach, or can’t teach…

maybe that was true–in her case (if so, it makes the whole thing all the more remarkable)…but, in my experience…working with kids for 16+ years…i’ve never known it to be so–for myself…or for any other teacher/youth worker i’ve had the privilege to know and work with…

[importantly, this isn’t me taking shots at that movie, that story, erin gruwell or anyone connected to that amazing tale…their story is one that we should celebrate after all]

but, what has been true for me and others is…the reality that no one can make it on their own–in this line of work–no one can do it all for all kids…that’s the plain truth…

simply put–and as much as i hate to admit it–i cannot reach all kids, though i try…i cannot teach all kids, though i try…i cannot impact all kids, though i try…

[day in and day out]…

but, there’s a good chance one of my colleagues can…

and that’s good news…

we’re not alone, we’re not on our own…

there have always been (and always will be) students that my colleagues relate to and teach better than i do…and, i’m glad that they can do that…i’m glad that they’re there…for many reasons…but, especially for the fact that they can reach those kids…

truth be told, i didn’t always feel that way…in my early days, i thought i should be able to reach all kids, no matter what…i was overly optimistic to say the least…but then, i was young and naive, too…now, i’m older (much older) and wiser…and i know what lies at the heart of the matter…

ultimately, i know now that…despite the fact that i can’t reach all students…the story doesn’t end there…some things are yet to be written…on their hearts and minds…and those students (most of ’em)–can run, but they can’t hide (heh, heh)…

from the great, unstoppable, inescapable…

teacher blob…

somehow, somewhere, sometime…

we’ll get you 🙂

 

note: the term “teacher blob” was coined by my wife, who also happens to be a teacher

tradecraft…boundaries (part II)

August 10, 2014 By in tradecraft Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

definition, purpose & implementation

  • what do we mean we talk about “boundaries”???

“boundaries” is a euphemism for rules…so, a good working definition is: boundaries = rules for appropriate behavior

  • why do we set boundaries???

to keep an individual and others safe; to teach and instill character and pro-social skills…

  • how do “boundaries” work??? how do we implement them???

in the most basic sense, boundaries work best when you give kids expectations (what you expect from them, what their behavior should look like according to the rules of  a specific setting or situation) and consequences (disciplinary actions for violating a boundary or don’t meet an expectation)…this approach works best in structured settings when you are working with kids and you want to be “clear and upfront with them from the get-go” (about what you expect) and provide consistent follow through with consequences when it doesn’t happen…

it can be a bit different ‘at home’ or in parenting…where boundaries may be (especially in early childhood) more nuanced, organic, on the spot, in the moment, etc–that’s not to say they are any less important in this setting…in fact, i would argue that boundary setting at home is one of the most important things parents can do for their children…anyways…when we move from early childhood to elementary-age to teenage years…imposing specific ‘expectation-consequence ground rules’–with regard to certain behaviors–will need to happen more often…

  • what are some examples of boundaries (from real-life)???

this blog is loaded with examples of boundaries, boundary violations/challenging behaviors, appropriate responses and consequences…in the next few posts, we’ll take a look at some more examples of boundaries–from both the “work-job” and the “home front”…

but, before we do…it’s important to note that, like the other posts on tradecraft, setting and enforcing boundaries is a skill…you don’t just wake up one day and know how to navigate this kind of thing…along with that, this is not something that should be done in a ‘fly by night’ kind of manner–good boundary setting (and enforcing) is something that requires thought, practice, reflection and adaptation…additionally, this skill is one that is very much connected to the tradecraft we’ve covered already…in fact, it is closely tied to the skills voice and non-verbals–which included, ‘how to talk to kids’, ‘deflectors’, tone, word choice, volume, body language, body positioning, gestures and facial experessions…all of these things matter–big time–when we’re giving expectations and (especially) when we’re giving consequences to kids…what kind of verbal and non-verbal messages are we transmitting?! are we saying what we want to say?!

the big question is: when we are setting boundaries…are we doing so with basic human dignity and respect?!

like the other skills we’ve acquired for herding cats, boundary setting skills can develop and sharpen over time…with practice…luckily, there’s no shortage of opportunities to fine-tune these skills 🙂

 

 

what we’re up against

July 21, 2014 By in observations Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

i love stories, storytellers and storytelling…

it’s no surprise then, that this blog came about…eventually…it was created, after all, to share stories…with my children, family, friends and the world at large…

the stories recounted here are about the up’s and downs of working with kids…what i refer to as herding cats…

and often times, the stories i share deal with the challenges of this kind of work…

in reading these (non-fiction) tales, you can begin to understand this kind of work from the perspective of someone who has done it for nearly 20 years…from someone who still enjoys it, despite the demands inherent in the job…

but, reading about these challenges is quite different from…seeing them, experiencing them, or navigating them–in the moment…for yourself…like a youth worker, teacher, counselor, or parent has to do every day…

in truth, the best thing for a person to do if they really wanted to see what we do–in real life–would be to follow us around for a while…shadow us in our work, if you will–however, that’s not always an option, that’s not always possible…

so, to help in the understanding…i would like to share a movie clip with you…from one of my all-time favorite flicks…good will hunting…

[the entire film is ‘quality’ and still holds up to this day–check it out]

and despite the fact that the movie itself is fictional, matt damon’s ‘troubled young man’ is the absolute closest portrayal, the most accurate rendering of what we’re up against…when we encounter a young person who has come up through some hard knocks in life–a young person who wants to challenge us, be defiant, put up a fight, push our buttons, test us, or make mischief…just because they can…

take a look at this scene where will meets his counselor (played by robin williams) for the first time…

q: is this scene a bit dramatic?!

a: sure

q: i mean, can we strangle or ‘choke out’ the kids in our charge…who push our buttons?!

a: no–well, maybe at some of the schools in ‘the south’ 🙂

q: have there been times when we-professionals-have imagined strangling someone–in those moments when we’re pushed to the edge?!

a: absolutely! (if you’ve been a loyal reader/follower of the blog…then, you already know the answer, my friends!)

in my experience (especially, from what i’ve seen in schools and juvenile prisons)…this is exactly the type of behavior and attitude you can expect to be up against…with a difficult young person…it is very true to life…

so much so, that what you didn’t see…in the next scene (and i’m really glad they included it, because it also rings true)…was will’s counselor…who, while he was at home (with a stiff drink in hand), stayed up until all hours of the night…thinking about will…because of what went down in those few moments in his office…

and that’s a really important thing to realize–the stuff you see, the stuff you have to deal with, the stuff that’s said to you…can be some of the most brutal stuff you’ll ever encounter in your life…it sticks with you…it sticks to you…it’s not something you just shake off or leave at the office…not at all…

not only that, but the whole idea (that’s casually passed around) of having thick skin…and ‘how you’ve got to have thick skin’ in this line of work–that’s bullshit, people (as my friend, kip, would say)…it’s a lie people tell themselves…and that’s not to say that youth workers, counselors, teachers, coaches, paras, and parents aren’t tough…they are…the good ones, the ones who stay in the fight–the ones who still work, strive, hope, pray and care for their kids…day in and day out…have some serious stones…

but, make no mistake…we also take with us…the scars from the battles we’ve won and (most often) lost…

from what we’ve been up against…