prepare the way

it is the season of expectation and anticipation…

for my wife and i, it was nearly two years ago when we were preparing to welcome our twins into the world…

as we waited…we talked to people who had kids, we read books about having kids, my wife signed up for the moms of multiples club, we painted the nursery, we built cribs, and we absorbed the advice solicited and unsolicited from those who noticed the babies bump…

we even took classes…

classes that, at the time, seemed logical–want to learn something new??? take a class–my wife and i are educators after all (having that background might make you think we had an advantage–but, we didn’t)…there are a lot of things you can learn from school–however, what life will be like with twins is not one of them…such preparations seem laughable now…

one of the most bizarre classes we took was on breastfeeding–and yes, i went too…not that any amount of education would help me out on this front…so, the instructor gave us the basics and handed us our demo-babies–their eyes kinda creeped us out…you know the kind i’m talking about–they were the painted on ones that follow you around the room, we ‘were good’ once we had blindfolded both our fake-babies:) …then, the instructor proceeded to go on and on about the physical/emotional bonds of the woman and child (children in our case), how potent mother’s milk was and how very good it was for the health and well-being of the babies–somewhere along the way, she mentioned a football hold–where you snuggle in the babe just like it’s a pigskin–this gave me license to ‘not pay attention anymore’…

so, i checked out…my thoughts drifted to how the viking’s season might progress; to my favorite english premier league soccer team, liverpool, who were struggling at the time; to tests i hadn’t graded yet; to admonishing myself for failing to bring my trusty flask of jack daniel’s along to this circus; to a scene in a movie–you know the one i’m talking about–the one from the hand that rocks the cradle (where the nanny is breastfeeding kids that were not her own)…let’s just say, that scene takes on a whole new level of creepiness after a breastfeeding class!  interestingly, the instructor made breastfeeding seem like a snap…like it was one of the easiest things a new mom would be doing…in reality, it was the complete opposite in our experience–it was difficult, unnatural and something that made my wife snap!

another strange thing related to this was the off-hand comments other moms would make to my wife, like ‘i breast-fed for 6 months, it was no problem’ or ‘i was breastfeeding for nearly a year, it was such a special time’–the one-uppers came out of the woodwork around this time…i handled it maturely, like any adult would…and slashed the tires of their mini-vans…you may be able to breast-feed like the wind, sister, but let’s see how you do when you’ve got to walk your ass home?!

no, but seriously…there were all kinds of preparations made in the waiting time…things we thought would prepare us–but nothing did…the reality of it all was truly different–it was like a bomb went off in the center of our lives–and when the smoke cleared, it was harder than we could have imagined (ugh!), but more incredible and more amazing than we could have believed…

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