Tag Archives: babies

teacher mojo

February 13, 2014 By in herding (my own) cats, teaching and coaching Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

having kids changes you…more than you can possibly comprehend at any point prior to the instant that they show up in your life…

one of the changes that i’ve experienced in regards to this–has happened on the job…working with and teaching high school students…more specifically, in how i work with and teach students…

i now refer to “the change” in this way (originally coined by my wife)…

having kids messes with my teacher mojo…

look, before my kids came along i thought i would be hell at work, less patient, and have a shorter fuse with the students in my classes…but, surprisingly, what’s happened has been the complete and total opposite…honestly, “the change”…caught me off guard, knocked me down, and rocked my world in ways that i never knew were possible…who would’ve thought?!

take the example from the hard lessons post…in the past, i would’ve been harder on those guys that we’re giving me trouble–i would’ve been less patient and understanding…and quick to drop the hammer…my patience might have lasted one or two months, max…not a full semester…

but that’s not me today…

i’m different…i’ve been changed…

when i talk to my students in class…all i can see are my own children in them, i see my students at one or two years old…so, it’s changed how i do things in my classroom…how i handle bad behaviors and challenging issues–because it’s harder to drop the hammer on a one-year-old…

now, some critics might say:

hey, d., you’ve lost your edge, man…

while i can see their point, i would disagree and say:

no, my edge is just different…it’s grown…it’s expanded…

i still ‘call kids out’ and hold them accountable, i just do it differently…my well is deeper, my heart is bigger…nowadays…i have a greater capacity to be compassionate and understanding–to be patient and merciful…

i have more grace to give…

silent night

December 22, 2013 By in herding (my own) cats Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

it will happen…you will have a time (or times) in your life, when something keeps you up at night…

for my wife and i, one of those times was when the twins showed up–the early months were truly nuts!!!

i remember, in the haze of those early days, my head hitting the pillow then bouncing back up–instantly…this would happen regularly because one of the twins was crying, hungry, or needed consolation…since we kept them on the same feeding schedule, we would be up a lot of nights on that front (my wife would breast-feed one and i would bottle-feed the other at the same time)…one morning, the sleepless nights became all too evident when my wife asked me, do you remember what you did last night?! (the one question that can strike fear in the heart of any husband)…i replied, uh, no, i don’t…she gave me a small smile and said, yeah,  i woke up to the sound of you shouting and rustling around in bed…she paused for dramatic effect…and said, i looked over to see you commando-crawling through the bed-sheets shouting, ‘i’ve got to get out of here, i’ve got to get out of here!’ (we still laugh about that night)…

…often times, i would be sitting up all night with one of the babies…then, glance at the clock and realize–hey, i’ve got to get ready for work…so, i would set the baby down, get cleaned up, go in and teach a full day…then, come home and do it all over again…and again…and again…i remember going into the bathroom one day at work…and, as i was washing my hands, i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror–it was ugly, i looked like hell (i was sportin’ what could be best described as the post-apocalyptic, world war z zombie look)–jeepers!  unfortunately, i wasn’t the only one who realized the ‘state of things’ in our world…because as i was walking down the hall to the copy room, my colleague stopped me and asked, are you alright?! (his face showed genuine concern–with a sprinkling of the early stages of panic:)…i mumbled some indiscernible response and continued on…in a way that would make the undead proud…

i didn’t really know what tired was until that point in my life…

so, if you’re there, at that point in your life…in the midst of a storm…where something is keeping you up at night…i wish for you peace, rest, and a good night’s sleep…i wish for you a silent night…

prepare the way

December 17, 2013 By in herding (my own) cats Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

it is the season of expectation and anticipation…

for my wife and i, it was nearly two years ago when we were preparing to welcome our twins into the world…

as we waited…we talked to people who had kids, we read books about having kids, my wife signed up for the moms of multiples club, we painted the nursery, we built cribs, and we absorbed the advice solicited and unsolicited from those who noticed the babies bump…

we even took classes…

classes that, at the time, seemed logical–want to learn something new??? take a class–my wife and i are educators after all (having that background might make you think we had an advantage–but, we didn’t)…there are a lot of things you can learn from school–however, what life will be like with twins is not one of them…such preparations seem laughable now…

one of the most bizarre classes we took was on breastfeeding–and yes, i went too…not that any amount of education would help me out on this front…so, the instructor gave us the basics and handed us our demo-babies–their eyes kinda creeped us out…you know the kind i’m talking about–they were the painted on ones that follow you around the room, we ‘were good’ once we had blindfolded both our fake-babies:) …then, the instructor proceeded to go on and on about the physical/emotional bonds of the woman and child (children in our case), how potent mother’s milk was and how very good it was for the health and well-being of the babies–somewhere along the way, she mentioned a football hold–where you snuggle in the babe just like it’s a pigskin–this gave me license to ‘not pay attention anymore’…

so, i checked out…my thoughts drifted to how the viking’s season might progress; to my favorite english premier league soccer team, liverpool, who were struggling at the time; to tests i hadn’t graded yet; to admonishing myself for failing to bring my trusty flask of jack daniel’s along to this circus; to a scene in a movie–you know the one i’m talking about–the one from the hand that rocks the cradle (where the nanny is breastfeeding kids that were not her own)…let’s just say, that scene takes on a whole new level of creepiness after a breastfeeding class!  interestingly, the instructor made breastfeeding seem like a snap…like it was one of the easiest things a new mom would be doing…in reality, it was the complete opposite in our experience–it was difficult, unnatural and something that made my wife snap!

another strange thing related to this was the off-hand comments other moms would make to my wife, like ‘i breast-fed for 6 months, it was no problem’ or ‘i was breastfeeding for nearly a year, it was such a special time’–the one-uppers came out of the woodwork around this time…i handled it maturely, like any adult would…and slashed the tires of their mini-vans…you may be able to breast-feed like the wind, sister, but let’s see how you do when you’ve got to walk your ass home?!

no, but seriously…there were all kinds of preparations made in the waiting time…things we thought would prepare us–but nothing did…the reality of it all was truly different–it was like a bomb went off in the center of our lives–and when the smoke cleared, it was harder than we could have imagined (ugh!), but more incredible and more amazing than we could have believed…

love bites…

November 8, 2013 By in herding (my own) cats, observations Tags: , , , 6 Comments

while i have picked up some ‘tricks of the trade’ when it comes to working with other people’s kids…it is a whole different ballgame when it comes to my own…

basically, when it comes to herding (my own) cats, i have no idea what i’m doing…

sure, in the past, i’ve been kicked, punched, elbowed, grabbed, pushed, bitten, scratched, spit at, and swore at by young people in my charge…but, i hadn’t experienced any of these shenanigans by the little ones i had helped bring into the world, by my own offspring …until they started biting…it was something i wasn’t ready for and it rattled my cage a bit…

my son was the primary offender…and this kind of thing happened a lot before he could really talk or make words or knew how to show affection…at this time, if he was excited he would run at you (full speed), tackle you, and bite you–hard…often times, i felt like one of those poor victims attacked by the angst-ridden, brooding, pale-faced vampire kids in the twilight series…anyways, in one of his most exuberant fun-loving moments, my son bit his cousin–his cousin didn’t feel the love…so, we separated my son from his cousin and i gave my son a stern word…but, was that enough?

my daughter, of course, was not to be upstaged by my son’s antics…so, one day, she took her own pound of flesh…it was a day that started out as a normal one in our household …we had just finished a breakfast that included thawed/toasted/ buttered/syrupy waffles, diced fruit, milk, and random three-day-old cheerios that the kids scraped off the kitchen floor…

satiated, my daughter and i were playing on the living room floor, having a good ole time wrestling around and laughing…at one point during the melee, i rolled over to hide from her saying, “where did daddy go?”–and then it happened–she bit me, right between the shoulder blades–it hurt…so, i squawked, i screamed, i yelled– “stop it, let go!”…in my insulated, child-proof cranium it went more like “stop it, let fuckin’ go!” (it was a minor miracle that i didn’t shout it out loud) anyways, while she was clamped down on the skin of my back, i was twisting and turning–trying to reach behind me and grab ahold of her…but, she was elusive and determined and i couldn’t quite reach her…as i flailed about on the ground, images of jurassic park filled my head–you know the part, where the guy is mauled by the flesh-eating baby dinosaurs…

i was thinking–i’m not going make it out of here alive…

somehow, i endured and survived and got loose of her…i told her, “don’t do that” and she cried –i thought what just happened? why do they keep biting? what can we do to make them stop?  what else could i do besides separating them and giving them a stern word? 

then, i thought back to the day when we first picked up our twins at that curiosity shop in chinatown…now, what did that guy tell me?!

no, but seriously, i realized that there are some things in life that there isn’t a playbook for, or instructions not included moments…i also realized, hey, these guys are one–what do they know? they like you, they bite you…that’s how they show their affection, their love–they’ve got love bites…it’s a phase…we’re movin’ on…