Category Archives: teaching and coaching

somebody’s son

February 13, 2015 By in teaching and coaching Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

as a teacher, you have a lot of power…

and, depending on how you use it…it, and you, can either be a force for good or for evil, you know…

a couple of weeks ago, i was in a position to use my power for good…to stand up for a student…something that’s always been important for me…it’s always been important for me because i’ve always had a strong sense of justice and fairness (some might call it an overdeveloped one;)…i can trace the origins of this kind of mindset and posture back to my youth, back to elementary school…back to one week in elementary school to be exact–the week when we watched the movie ‘roots’ in class…that movie blew my mind…sitting there, watching it, i couldn’t believe that one human being could treat another human being so harshly just because they were a different color, just because they were a different race and culture, just because they had power and the other person was powerless…it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right…that movie had a great impact on my life, then and now…

anyways, here’s what happened in class…

we were watching a video in class and i had called a student up to the front of the room to help me with something…so, he got up and came towards the front of the room…right away, when he got up, a few other students started snickering…that got my attention…so, i looked over…my eye caught an object, a thin strip of paper peeking out from behind the student who had stood up…so, i told him…young man, you’ve got a piece of paper on your back…

[one thing, there are 43 kids in this particular class…which makes it a bit difficult to see what the kids are doing all the time, especially those that are a few rows deep…i wish i could say i was the only teacher in the u.s. that had this problem, but i’m not…and it’s an issue for learning and classroom management–and for student safety…anyways, had i not had him come up to my desk i probably wouldn’t have even have seen it, maybe he wouldn’t have seen it until later]

when i told him that he had a piece of paper stuck to his back, he spun around and awkwardly pulled it off his back…he looked down, read it, then looked up and walked straight towards a group of guys a few rows back…i got up from my desk and followed him…a heated verbal exchange ensued between several young men (the guy who had the note stuck to his back was standing in front of two students who were sitting at their desks)…one of the guys who was sitting at his desk grabbed the piece of notebook paper and started to crumple it up…

when i got to his desk, i said, hey let me see that… 

reluctantly, he gave me the piece of paper…i un-crumpled it and read it…immediately, i looked up (and at the two students who were sitting in front of me) and said (in a low growl), who wrote this?!

one of the boys spoke up…i did…

i looked at him and said, plain as you like, pick up your stuff and head to the clas program…

[clas program = iss]

we resumed class…

when i got back to my desk, i sat down and re-read the words on the piece of paper…

it read: he likes it in the ass

at the end of the class period i addressed the entire class, with a quiet intensity (it’s a register i hit when i really want something to stick), saying…

a student, a person…should be able to go through daily life, walk down the street, and most of all–come to class without being bothered, without being harassed…when something like this happens, there’s usually more than one student involved, i got one of the offenders today, and he’ll be out of here for tomorrow’s class as well…so, if you were in on it, i’m talking to you right now…don’t do it again.

when the class was dismissed, the student, the one who made the mistake of putting that note on his peer’s back came back to my room from the clas program…as i requested…

i asked him, why did you do it?

he said, i don’t know, it was stupid…

i told him, i can tell you regret it…but, just to remind you–that kind of behavior doesn’t fly in here, got it?! it’s serious enough that i’m going to keep you out of class for another day…please don’t do that again.

he said, yes, i’m sorry…

i said, we’ll see…

[and i didn’t say “we’ll see” to provoke him further or to belittle him…i told him that because i’ve told all my students that–on occasion–saying “i’m sorry” is important and does mean something…but, a lot people say it and it doesn’t mean a damn thing…teenagers and adults…so, i’ve told them i don’t want to hear i’m sorry, i want to see it–so, do it different next time!!!]

after he left, i emailed my principal and ‘the other powers that be’ to document the situation and allow them to follow-up if they wanted to…

we’ll see how the next few weeks go…

…

if i had a heightened sense of justice before i had kids, it has only magnified (x1000) since my own kids came along…i guess i’m like parents everywhere–when i send jack and grace out to daycare in the morning, i want to know that they will be safe and secure…and believe me, it’s a risky proposition, a high stakes game…sending your children out into the world…i want to know that their daycare provider, teachers, coaches and other trusted adults will be looking out for them when i’m not there…i want to know that they’ll be alright, you know…

it’s what i try to do for my students…it’s what i was able to do for the kid who was ridiculed with the sign on his back…

it wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right…what happened…he deserves to be treated with respect and with dignity…

because he’s a person, because he’s a human being…

because he’s somebody’s son…

everyone wins…

January 26, 2015 By in herding (my own) cats, teaching and coaching Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

is one of those ideas that’s passed around as gospel among the young people of today…

unfortunately, it’s a lie…everybody doesn’t win…in fact, you might not win anything over the span of your entire life course…that’s a fact…

just the other day…i had a student say…

hey, mr. d., i think we should all get prizes…

[she said this as i was announcing the prize winners for a game we had just completed (the game is called ‘bomb squad’, otherwise know as “jenga”…and we played it for one short class session a week for several weeks)]

she doesn’t realize it, but saying this to me is like throwing me a softball to hit…i’m gonna ‘launch it’, you know…because she’s right in my wheelhouse…

so, i respond…

what do you think happens when you apply for a job?! what do you think happens when you interview for a job?!  you think everyone who applies for a job gets an interview?! you think everyone who gets an interview gets the job?! you think everyone who gets a job gets a promotion?!

this is not just a game, these are life lessons, sister…so, no, not everybody’s gonna get a prize…if you win, you get a prize…if you lose, you don’t…this is training for the real world…

she smiles and nods…and sees my passion…

i can see that she doesn’t get it yet, not completely, anyways–someday she will…

i wish i could say that she was the only student i had that thinks like this…she’s not…in fact, most of the kids that come through my door think this way, they expect to get something…it’s that ‘entitlement factor’ coming through again…

dr. david walsh and dr. leonard sax…two smart guys i respect and look up to…will tell you the same thing about kids today–importantly, it stems from parents and educators and other caring adults “trying to do good”, from trying to build kids up…specifically, kids’ self-esteem and self-confidence (it originated back in the late 70’s and 80’s…and has continued all the way up to today)…but, at the end of the day, what it teaches kids isn’t really something that we want them to be learning…the good feelings that they get when they get something in that way doesn’t build up self-esteem and self-confidence…more like, selfishness and greed…the good feelings that they get when we reward them for absolutely nothing are fleeting and fragile and false…

but, what can you expect from getting something for nothing?!

as i watch the students leave my room…i think about that short speech, which lasted 3 minutes…reflecting on it, i’m pretty sure it was the most important thing i taught them in the last two months (at least)…

we need to bring disappointment back…

it’s something we should be teaching our children (regularly) in our homes and schools across the country!

“when you find your path, you must not be afraid. you need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.” – paulo coelho

my sister, chris

December 18, 2014 By in observations, teaching and coaching Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

one of the best teachers i know is my sister, chris (always ‘chrissy’ to me)…

she’s a 7th grade social studies teacher near chicago…

it is an appropriate assignment for her as we grew up moving from ‘here-to-there’ every few years as dictated by the u.s. government (my dad was in the air force)…as youngsters, we lived in oregon, utah, texas, arizona, south carolina, japan, colorado, and washington state…

moving around like vagabonds…we, of course, became close…because everywhere we went, it was “just us”…my mom, my dad, my sister and i…for most of my life she was my absolute, #1 best friend (it helped that we were only a year apart)…we had a lot of laughs and adventures together–back then and later in life as well…and while i know this will come as a big surprise to all of you–she was always the brains of the operation, the intellectual one, even from a very young age…maybe it was because she was always reading, reading, reading…man, she always had a book in hand (and still does!)…now, that doesn’t mean that she always got it right…i mean, there was the time when she ripped the side-view mirror off of the car when backing out of the garage, and the time when she burned an iron-shaped hole in her bedroom carpet while ironing a shirt, and the time when she tried to dry her hat off by setting it next to the campfire ring…guess what–it caught on fire!

[the “burning hat camping trip” was an over-nighter at luther heights bible camp–a place (and people) i’ve referenced before in this blog–anyways, the first year that i worked there, one of the counselors quit within the first two weeks of the summer camping season…so, i called up chris at our home in olympia, wa to see if she wanted to come out and fill the open slot…at the time, she was doing something exciting for the summer, like picking raspberries 🙂 …immediately, she agreed to come out to idaho as a counselor…and she liked it so much that we had the chance to work together there for 3 summers…those were good times]…

but, she’s always had a sharp mind, like a surgeon’s scalpel…an insatiable need to know things, an unstoppable curiosity…which, i think, was/is a catalyst for her continued travels and adventures in the world…as an adult, she’s ventured to israel, africa, south america, other locales in the far east…and minnesota (coming here, especially in the winter, is definitely badge-worthy)…israel was/is a favorite of hers, as a college student she lived on a kibbutz there for a while and then returned some 10 more times–over the years, she was able to master hebrew…who does that?!

all of this adds up one very unique individual…with a very distinct perspective on the world…and, for me…what i’ve come to know, what i’ve come to realize is that…she is one of the most unique individuals i know…i always come away from a conversation with her having learned something new…or, thinking about something in a way that i wouldn’t have thought of–had i not had the chance to visit with her…every single time…

she’s also the kind of person who could’ve done anything she wanted to…doctor, lawyer, corporate executive…you name it…but, she landed in education…in the trade of teaching…in the trade of teaching junior high school students no less…and she’s been at it for 14 years now…and most of the parents don’t know just how lucky they are to have her teach their children…but, i do…

i mean, who wouldn’t want that kind of person teaching their kids–helping them use their noggins?!

last year…for her energy, efforts, and creativity as an educator, she received the “highest marks” and “highest rating” a teacher can get in an evaluation at her school, a status that few achieve…

you wouldn’t hear this from chris, of course…because she’s also one of the least flashy and most humble people i know…which is even more of a reason to tell you what she’s about, to tell you what she’s done in the world…to put it down in words, for the record…right here, right now…

here’s to you, chris! i love you, sister!

cheers!

 

 

 

teaching is doing

October 11, 2014 By in teaching and coaching Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment

“those who can, do; those who can’t, teach” –

the above quote, one that has been attributed to both george  bernard shaw and h.l. mencken, is one of my least favorite sayings in the world…and, not just because i am a teacher, but because i have benefitted from the lessons i’ve learned from the teachers in my life…so, this post goes out to all the critics…

those who can’t do…

get up at the ‘crack of dawn’ every day for 9 months to get ready for each new day

those who can’t do…

go to bed by 9pm (if not earlier) every night for 9 months because they get up at the ‘crack of dawn’ to get ready for each new day

those who can’t do…

work more than a monday through friday, 9-5 work week

those who can’t do…

teach your kids math, science, history, reading, writing, and scores of other subjects each day

those who can’t do…

coach, engage, motivate, push/pull, redirect, entertain, lead, counsel, discipline, praise, encourage and love your kids…while they teach them math, science, reading, writing, and scores of other subjects each day

those who can’t do…

bring their work home with them (at night and on weekends)–grading, planning, and creating lessons; sending emails and making phone calls to interested or concerned parents, administrators, colleagues and other involved adults

those who can’t do…

bring their ‘mental work’ home with them every night…the successes and (most often) the failures of their days efforts–the kind of things that take up a lot of head space–like…how come i can’t get through to alexis? i wish bobby would listen when i talk to him.?! how come john never shows up to class? i hope jen makes it through life! how can i reach them?!

those who can’t do…

teach all other ‘doers’…’how to do things’…

pediatricians, auto mechanics, lawyers, cosmetologists, pilots, nurses, carpenters, bar tenders, police officers, computer programmers, graphic artists, corporate executives, sportscasters, architects, secretaries, crime scene investigators, activists, dentists, musicians, cooks, janitors, counselors, photographers, plumbers, surgeons, journalists, day care providers, truck drivers, artists, senators, bus drivers, firefighters, religious leaders, waiters, soldiers, accountants, filmmakers, mail men/women, engineers, social workers, athletes, teachers and more

those who can’t do…

don’t teach…

because teaching is doing…

[and doing, and doing…]

sponge blob

October 10, 2014 By in teaching and coaching, tradecraft Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

“when you can take the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to leave” – master kan, kung fu

one of the worst things for a new teacher to do is to surround themselves with only other new teachers…and in doing so, thinking that it’s gonna make them the best teacher in the world…it’s kind of like teenagers who expect to become mature, amazing grown-up people by surrounding themselves with only other teenagers…

the last time i checked, it takes about 3-6 years to go from an apprentice to a journeyman in the trades…

teaching is a trade, people…one of the toughest trades in the world…so, it’s gonna take some time to get it down, it’s gonna take some time to become skilled at it…

sure, there are old-timers who are “phoning it in” until retirement…to those types, to those guys and gals…i’ll say, time to clock out, buddy–get to steppin’, chica! but, what job doesn’t have people like that?!  all in all, those ‘hanger-on’s’ make up a small percentage of the larger teacher blob…

anyways, what new teachers need to do is to…spend time–lots of time–around seasoned instructors…ones who are tried and true...ones who are still creating, dreaming, and working hard…ones who are still committed and passionate about what they’re doing…

the last time i checked, it takes about 10 years to go from a padowan to a jedi knight…

i mean, any rookie can be fired up about this kind of work–for a minute…yeah, they’re good out of the gate…but, the best of the best do it year in and year out…so, my advice would be to…get next to those people, ask a lot of questions, learn from them–soak up as much as you can–be the sponge…embrace the teacher blob, for you and for your students!!! 🙂

[one of the current issues and challenges in teaching in america today is that…the average time that a new teacher spends in the profession of teaching, before leaving, is five years (walsh, 2014)…in my opinion, it takes about just that long, 4-5 years, to figure how to do the job well and get to a place where you’re on top of your work as an educator…so, if people are leaving at that moment in time…they are leaving just when some of the rewards can be reaped (i.e. when the hard work starts to pay off)–for them and for their students–and they are leaving just when they’ve become a skilled and valued member of the trade…if this trend continues, it does not bode well for the future of education in the u.s.]

“experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it” – steven wright

teacher blob

September 26, 2014 By in observations, teaching and coaching Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

i love the movie freedom writers…it is one of the most inspiring movies about teaching that i’ve ever seen…

there’s one part (see below) that gets me every single time–can’t help it…

 

at the same time, one of the things that “smells funny” about the story freedom writers is that…

you get the idea that there’s no student erin gruwell can’t connect to, can’t reach, or can’t teach…

maybe that was true–in her case (if so, it makes the whole thing all the more remarkable)…but, in my experience…working with kids for 16+ years…i’ve never known it to be so–for myself…or for any other teacher/youth worker i’ve had the privilege to know and work with…

[importantly, this isn’t me taking shots at that movie, that story, erin gruwell or anyone connected to that amazing tale…their story is one that we should celebrate after all]

but, what has been true for me and others is…the reality that no one can make it on their own–in this line of work–no one can do it all for all kids…that’s the plain truth…

simply put–and as much as i hate to admit it–i cannot reach all kids, though i try…i cannot teach all kids, though i try…i cannot impact all kids, though i try…

[day in and day out]…

but, there’s a good chance one of my colleagues can…

and that’s good news…

we’re not alone, we’re not on our own…

there have always been (and always will be) students that my colleagues relate to and teach better than i do…and, i’m glad that they can do that…i’m glad that they’re there…for many reasons…but, especially for the fact that they can reach those kids…

truth be told, i didn’t always feel that way…in my early days, i thought i should be able to reach all kids, no matter what…i was overly optimistic to say the least…but then, i was young and naive, too…now, i’m older (much older) and wiser…and i know what lies at the heart of the matter…

ultimately, i know now that…despite the fact that i can’t reach all students…the story doesn’t end there…some things are yet to be written…on their hearts and minds…and those students (most of ’em)–can run, but they can’t hide (heh, heh)…

from the great, unstoppable, inescapable…

teacher blob…

somehow, somewhere, sometime…

we’ll get you 🙂

 

note: the term “teacher blob” was coined by my wife, who also happens to be a teacher

back in black…

September 25, 2014 By in teaching and coaching Tags: , Leave a comment

i never quite feel like i’m really back until we hit the month mark…

that time has come…so, to all you teachers out there – i salute you…

it’s a marathon…not a sprint…so, keep on keepin’ on!!!

a joke…for the last day of school

June 5, 2014 By in teaching and coaching Tags: , , Leave a comment

q: do you know what the three best things about teaching are?

a: june, july, and august…

🙂

[author – unknown]

tradecraft…your voice (part VII)

June 2, 2014 By in teaching and coaching, tradecraft Tags: , , , , 1 Comment

“if at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.” ― steven wright

i love the above quote from steven wright…it is something that we can all relate to because no one likes to talk about failure or have their failures known…including me…but, that’s what this post is about…a time when i messed it up…

here’s the story…

a few weeks ago, a kid came into class–we’ll call him ‘jacob’–running his mouth, like he was known to do…this time, jacob was ‘going off’ about how he hated the school resource officer and how the ‘school cop’ was always on his case…his tone set me on edge from the get go…and it went downhill from there…

every year, there is one kid who can push your buttons like no other, really get under your skin, you know…it can get to the point that every time you hear the sound of their voice (regardless of the words) it feels like someone’s pulled out a tattoo needle and started digging in, started working over your nerves like nobody’s business…imagine that kind of thing happening nearly every day for nine months…then you’ll have an idea of what it’s been like, this year, with jacob…

and it’s the kind of thing that can drive even the most seasoned teacher to the brink…could also be one of the reasons why nearly half (46%) of all new teachers in america leave after the first five years (dr. david walsh (lecture), 2014; ‘american teacher’ documentary, 2011; national education association publication, 2008)…that fact alone should be enough to raise alarm bells across the country and is probably an issue worth returning to in a later post [note to self]…

anyways…

class was moving along and we working on an interactive observation activity…students were moving around the room and working with other students to complete their tasks…jacob wasn’t working, in fact, he was standing near some other boys and they began arguing over which branch of service was the best, and it was getting heated…i told them to ‘take it easy’ and focus on their tasks (it was the second or third time that i had to redirect these gentlemen during this block), but it didn’t slow down or stop their debate…they continued on and it got more personal…to the point where other students were beginning to be affected by what they were saying…

it was disrespectful, they way they were talking to each other…and disruptive…especially, the remarks that jacob was making…

and, i was done…

so, i launched out of my desk chair and came around my desk with a full head of steam and shouted:

enough! that’s enough!  jacob, just sit down and shut up!

immediately, i realized what i had said…it was like i could see the words floating over the desks in the classroom…like a bubble hovering over a cartoon character in the sunday comics…in that instant, i wished i hadn’t said those two words… “shut up”…

but, i couldn’t take it back…it was too late…

in that moment, the room went completely quiet…but, not the good kind of quiet…if you work around people (as a profession) you know exactly what i’m talking about…it was a quiet that resulted from a slap in the face, a cheap shot…

we finished off the class and i finished off the rest of my day, then headed home for the weekend…

the next day, my wife, kids, and i went out to breakfast with our friend joy…

during breakfast, i shared the story i just shared with you…after i was done…joy said, these things can happen, you know?

there was a bit of a pause in the conversation…

[you should know that joy’s a teacher…she’s been doing it a long time (longer than my wife and i) & she’s really good at it]

the next thing joy asked was…

joy: when did it happen?

me: on friday…

there was another pause…then, joy looked at me and said…

joy: it’s not too late, you can still apologize…

i guess it was my turn to get slapped in the face…because that’s exactly what it felt like when she said that to me…at the time, i said something like, yeah, ok…but, deep down i was pissed…thinking…

the hell you say, joy?! apologize?! you’ve got some nerve saying that to me, this kid needed ‘a talking to’!

[you can see that i was continuing the same mature attitude and mindset that i had demonstrated the day before…heh, heh]

anyways, i thought a lot about what she had said…and it went around in my head for about 48 hours…i thought about what i had said and done, i thought about my actions in the classroom that day…akin to looking into a good mirror…a kind of mirror that can show you the truth…reflect back the good, bad, and ugly things about yourself..and in this case, it was a painful process…

i thought about it right up until the time that jacob and his class were to arrive for monday’s lessons…

so, they came in and we went through a regular class…it was all routine–no issues or problems…at the end of class, i dismissed everyone…everyone but jacob…who i called up to my desk…

here’s what happened…

me: hey, i wanted to talk to you about friday and what went on…

jacob: o.k….

[i breathed in]

me: i wanted to apologize for what i said, for how i acted…

jacob: hey, d., it’s no problem, it’s all good, man…

me: no, it’s not o.k….it wasn’t o.k. for me to talk to you like that, it was disrespectful…telling you to ‘shut up’…you know, it’s not something i usually say, i broke one of my own rules there…and, i’m sorry… 

jacob: no worries, d., we’re good…but, i really appreciate you saying that anyways…

then, he left the room…

in the silence of the room, i knew that joy had been right…that i needed to do something that i didn’t want to…even though it was the right thing to do, even though i knew i was the one who made the mistake–in how i responded to him, in how i used my voice…because despite that saying we all learned long ago: sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me…we found out, pretty early on in life, that that saying is bullshit…words can hurt, words can cut deep…and saying the words ‘shut-up’, like i did, may not seem like an offense to some…but, i knew it was just that–it was a violation of a rule i have for myself, as a professional educator–a rule i have for myself as one who ‘herds cats’ professionally (especially since a good portion of the kids we work with are ‘talked to’ like that at home)…and like i told jacob, i broke it…and because of that, i knew i had to apologize…

so, with that…how have you used your voice?  how will you use your voice in the future?

important questions to ask, because in this line of work–herding cats…your voice can be a force for good or for ill…

[interestingly, the next day, when jacob and his class returned again…the air was a lot lighter…the edges had been softened…and jacob regarded me a bit better than he had in the past, more positively, i could feel the difference…]

“success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”                                                                                       ― winston churchill

school prayer

May 8, 2014 By in faith stories, school policy, teaching and coaching Tags: , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

as an american public high school teacher, i pray a lot…

i pray that i will be patient, i pray that i will be kind — to every student (and yes, i have to pray this prayer!), i pray that my students will hear me and understand what i’m talking about, i pray that my students will ‘make it’ and ‘survive their situations’…and occasionally, i pray that my day will end — sometimes, it goes like this…

dear Lord,

please let it stop…please, oh please, let this day end–right fuckin’ now!

amen.

i prayed this prayer regularly last semester (out of earshot of the students), often times when i was in the process of crumbling to the floor in the fetal position…no lie (see ‘hard lessons’ post:)

days, like these…when i’ve uttered prayers out of sheer desparation…are usually followed by multiple traffic violations …as i speed, like a bat out of hell, towards the nearest bottle of jack daniel’s…and then, i pray again…but, this time, it’s one of joy, thanksgiving and praise…

dear Lord,

thank you, for this bottle of jack d…

here’s to you…

amen.

[Jesus and jack daniel’s always get me through…heh, heh]

anyways, i digress…

despite all this, i don’t believe in public, ‘out loud’, demonstrative prayer in our public schools…and it’s not because i believe that students couldn’t benefit from some kind of spiritual time during their day, they could–no doubt…

but, my questions fall along ecumenical lines…

what prayers shall we pray in school? what meditations shall we do? shall we do the christian ones? i mean, i am a christian — so, i pray that way…well, what does that way even mean for a christian?  there are a thousand different types of christians out there and a thousand different types of christian prayers–there are even some christian prayers that might get you in some ‘hot water’ from other christians…i can hear their voices now…hey, that’s not the right kind of prayer to be praying in school, because it’s really not ‘christian-enough’, you know?

and hey, look, we haven’t even got to all the other great religions and faiths of the world…

at the end of the day, i guess i’m really glad that there are private schools out there, all kinds of ’em, that give people the option, the choice — to pray — if praying, intentionally & ‘out loud’, is something that they believe they should do in school…

peace be with you…