the flyin’ f**kin’ magic elves

every once in a while you need to challenge your children — in this case, i mean — challenge their understanding of how the world really works (at the core) and keep it real.

this was one of those times…

a few weeks ago, there was a storm brewing inside our house…and it had the normal warning signs…the rumbling, the growling, the flashes of lightning on the horizon, and the general feeling that something big was going to erupt — and erupt soon.

the reason for the ominous weather was pretty simple — it was because my wife was upset. note: she’s not prone to this, takes a while to get her there, but it was too much. *thinking back on this event, i’m literally surprised that she didn’t throw down some serious lightning bolts right then and there [i could swear her eyes glossed over with that milky-white haze you see happen when storm (from the x-men) lights up the sky — boom!]

regardless, she was upset because our kids were disgruntled and complaining about everything (it was non-stop) — and so then, as you would expect, it happened — my wife burst😊and shared with me, in an edgy-hushed voice (upstairs while the kids were downstairs), why she was so frustrated…she told me that she couldn’t believe that the kids were so unaware and most importantly — so unappreciative of all that we (but particularly she was doing for them) — this list is not comprehensive but it included: laundry, organizing friend visits, getting them to school, cooking a good dinner, and setting up the elf on the shelf every night…

after our conversation, i knew i had to do something…so, i went downstairs and called the kids over…when we were face-to-face i gave them a play-by-play of all that mom had been doing around the house and said, you need to go upstairs right now and tell her that you’re thankful for all she does for you…they nodded and were beginning to turn to go upstairs when i said, and there’s one more thing (my own storm was getting whipped up by now), do you think the magic elves come in at night and really bring you all this shtuff?! *in my head it sounded more like this, do you think it’s the flyin’ fuckin’ magic elves?! — but, i didn’t say that out loud…

[now, i know what you’re thinking — you didn’t but i’ll tell you, oh yes i did! it was on now, and mom needed backup — and mom wasn’t the only thing that was going to burst, we were going to burst some worldviews here and now…had to do it (and our kids are in fifth grade, it was time and it was the time!)]

after i asked them that question, they were like: uhmmmm…

so i asked them: who do you think does all this stuff, really?

(after a pause) they said: you guys?!

me: yes, but primarily it’s your mom — look, this stuff doesn’t just happen, it’s not magic — it’s because work is getting done. you need to see that, be appreciative of it. so, go thank your mom.

so they did.

and the storm cleared.

and the dominoes fell.

after the elves, it was santa.

after santa, it was the tooth fairy.

and so on.

happy holidays to you & yours!

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