so, ryan asked me…

hey, mr. d….would it be o.k. if i asked melanie (his girlfriend) to prom during your last hour?

i agreed…saying…

sure, what do you have in mind?

what he “had in mind” was this…

ryan showed up to my last class of the day…and i introduced him as a guest speaker that would be presenting on adolescents and alcohol…it fit with what we were doing…and right away, when he came in the door–melanie looked up, surprised…the look on her face said…what is he doing in class?! (i think it was the most attentive i’ve seen her all year;)

he went through his presentation (he had made up a power point that i ‘previewed’ earlier)…he talked about ‘the dangers of alcohol use for teenagers’ and ‘how we see increases in use around the time of prom’… then, he said…

given all these dangers…there’s just one question i have…melanie, will go to prom with me?

she got up, said “yes” and gave him a hug…the class erupted in applause… and, after what seemed like an eternity…i said, you can stop hugging now…

[thought i might have to call a code purple…’unauthorized public display of affection’ ;)]

i share this story not because of how it relates to prom…because depending on your perspective and/or your child’s high school experience, prom may or may not be a positive social ritual/tradition for your teenager…

but, i share this story for another reason…i share this story because of what ryan did, because of how he treated his girlfriend…because of his boldness (it takes courage to do that kind of thing in front of a group of students you don’t know)…

he put in work...he took the time to come up with a creative way to ask her to prom; he took the time to think about her…and, i think it was even more significant because she was his girlfriend…the look on her face was priceless, i could tell (at that moment) that he had succeeded in making her feel special…because of the love and respect he demonstrated…

i congratulated him later and said, ‘good work, young man’…

it’s important to hold up these stories, to celebrate these moments…

because there are a lot of guys out there who wouldn’t even think of doing something like that; there are a lot of guys out there who just expect things from girls…like they’re entitled to it…

but, they’re not…they need to put in work…show love and respect…like ryan did…