Tag Archives: parent

love hurts

November 13, 2014 By in herding (my own) cats Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

‘love hurts’ (by the band nazareth) was one of my very good friends, one of my brothers–einar monstad of bergen, norway–favorite tunes back in the day, back when we went to college together (in the early 90’s)…einar loved and stills loves music…back then, he even achieved legendary status on campus for singing and bangin’ a drum at the crack of dawn throughout the dorms to celebrate norwegian independence day…he was/is a great and unstoppable force of nature…

anyways, i was reminded of the song this past summer when my kids (jack and grace) were playing together in the backyard…they were running around chasing each other as my wife and i sat nearby talking quietly (it was a warm summer day–far from the arctic smackdown we’re getting this week–winter in minnesota hurts, too)…

as they were playing, i looked up to see jack push grace to the ground…grace wasn’t happy about it and started to cry…

i said, “jack, that’s not o.k., help your sister up, please”…

he paused for a moment and then tried to help her up…but, what he did next wasn’t the most helpful thing in the world…

he really tried to help her, truly….he really tried to help her up off the ground…but, not by the hand…and not by the arm…

but, by the throat–he grabbed her right around the neck, with both hands (like you would do if you wanted to choke the life out of someone) and tried to pull her up that way…

what the what?!

so, my wife and i bolted out of chairs shouting “no, no, no…” and separated him from his sister (while we tried, at the same time, to keep ourselves from laughing…because it was pretty hilarious)…

though not evident by his actions–we could tell that it wasn’t intentional and that ‘what he really wanted to do’…was to help her up…

chances are, you’ve been there…maybe with your own kids, maybe with your family at home or on vacation, or maybe with your colleagues at work …sometimes, you try to help someone and it doesn’t turn out that way, it doesn’t end well…sometimes, someone tries to help you and the situation goes from bad to worse…

it’s in these moments, when you realize that…

sometimes…

love hurts.

this father’s day…verse 2

June 21, 2014 By in herding (my own) cats Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

i was thinking that…

despite being a teacher and making a lengthy career out of herding kids…i often wondered if i was cut out for the job of being a dad…when i looked around i saw great dads all over…my brother-in-law, todd, was/is one of those guys–born for it, you know…but, that wasn’t me…i mean, i used to seriously detest and dislike babies, infants and toddlers…friends would bring them around and i would think to myself what’s with the baby – again?! —can’t you just leave that critter behind?! (please accept my late apologies on these feelings, dear friends;)…or we’d be talking and their infant would sound off with a shriek, a verbal-burst, or a crying fit…and i would secretly get annoyed with the little one and think, come on, can’t you see your mom and i are trying talk here?!…peeing, pooping, & crying…what’s all the hype about??? …but, having my own children (our twins) has changed things, and the way i think about babies and other little critters…it’s as if an inner well has been discovered within me and a secret human switch has been tripped deep inside my core…allowing me to release love and care and crazy baby-talk sounds – that make me sound like i’m on ‘some really potent stimulants’– to fully engage with them…

and while i am often run-ragged and worked over–completely–by these two little ones…i’ve also realized how blessed i am to have them in my life! cheers!

[though i originally posted this reflection on another site (nearly 2 years ago), i thought it warranted a ‘re-posting’ here]