Author Archives: dave

remembering hurricane katrina (10 years later)…

August 23, 2015 By in observations Tags: , , , Leave a comment

i’d like to dedicate the following poem (which i wrote in the fall of 2005) to the victims of hurricane katrina…the hurricane formed on august 23, 2005 and hit new orleans on august 29, 2005…nearly 2,000 people died (and thousands more were affected) as a result of this natural disaster…

 

New Orleans

 

I

Crossing space, the natural acceleration

Wind and wave, the environmental devastation

Landscape, dismantled, in dislocation

Earth, uprooted, severed evisceration

Showcased, the city’s pulverization

Neighborhoods beat down, in dilapidation

Out of place, structure and foundation

House and home, decapitation

Everyplace in ruin, needing restoration

Storefront and business, vandalization

Music erased, quiet, no intonation

Silenced, sax and trumpet harmonization

The bone case, flesh annihilation

Corpse drifts by, in lifeless flotation

Displaced, parent-child relation

Friend and acquaintance, affiliation

In a footrace, to find family formation

Search lists, for personal identification

Misplaced, relative and kin location

To other states, through dissipation

Hungry-faced, with hand held out in expectation

Food and water, out of circulation

 

II

Poor and down-faced, forgotten aberration

Brought to national elevation

Black race, viewed in amplification

Human beings, seen living in marginalization

Collective conscious abased, alive at evocation

Inner sense, awakened at painful provocation

Though no trace, of official coordination

Authority, guidance and evacuation

Underestimated, government consideration

No help, from agency or organization

Disgraced, president on ranch recreation

This neglect, reason for confrontation

To save face, rushed to late visitation

Weak, the delayed amelioration

Worst-case, the historical ramification

Stories, passed on in passionate oration

God’s grace, breathed new life, resuscitation

Healing touch, sparks human regeneration

Tomorrow–make space, for return population

Residents start fresh, with new determination

Someday replace, this story of desperation

With hope, restore the soul of a nation.

keep striving

August 10, 2015 By in observations, teaching and coaching, tradecraft Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

“excellence is the gradual result of always striving to do better.”

-pat riley

in a few weeks, i will begin my ninth year as a high school teacher and my 17th year working with kids (of some sort and in some kind of setting)…

i don’t know how it is with other people in other careers, but in teaching, there is (lurking in the shadows) that ever-present temptation to get complacent or to “phone it in”…i mean, after you’ve been teaching for a while, there are certain things you’ve got down, things you know, like the back of your hand…

but, going down that road is precarious…

at the same time, you can see how it can happen, how all of us can fall into that trap…for instance, when i first started this “herding cats work”, i made great strides right away and really “wowed ’em”…my achievements were shiny and could be seen (by myself and by others)…but, as time went by, day after day, going through the same routines–it made me weary (on occasion) and i’d think, “what more can i do?”…

well, as an answer, i was recently re-inspired by a little japanese man named jiro ono…jiro is the subject of a 2011 documentary film (by david gelb) called, “jiro dreams of sushi”…and the story, his story is completely captivating…

jiro is the owner and head chef of the three-michelin-starred* sushi restaurant called, “jiro sukiyabashi” in tokyo, japan…and there’s five important things you need to know about this guy:

  1. jiro is 89 years old.
  2. jiro works every day.
  3. jiro has been making sushi for more than 70 years.
  4. jiro is widely recognized as the best sushi chef in the world.
  5. jiro still believes his sushi can be better.

[*important detail: michelin is a french company that publishes an annual guide on fine dining and accommodations–and, a three star rating is the highest–in this case, it means “exceptional cuisine, worth a special journey”.]

the last fact is the most remarkable to me…that, after all this time, after all this work…

jiro still believes his sushi can be better.

think about that for a moment…talk about inspiring!  at 17 years into my profession, i’ve got nothing on this guy…absolutely nothing…yet, there is a silver lining–the strides i make, nowadays, might not be as big, bold, or bright as the one’s i’ve made before…but, they are still significant little steps…

so, along these lines, i’ve tried to challenge myself for the past couple of years…by asking myself one simple question (to stoke the fires)…

how can i better “my last year self”?

and if i had to give an answer to that question right now…it would be…

i don’t know, but i know i can…and then…maybe, just maybe…coming to my classroom will be worth a special journey…

jiro

“always strive to elevate your craft.”

-jiro ono

(keep going out) where the wild things are…

August 6, 2015 By in measure of a man, observations Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

“the core of mans’ spirit comes from new experiences.”
-jon krakauer

this summer has had its share of adventures (some planned, some unexpected)…in fact, i was just telling my wife that this has been one of the most action-packed summers of our life together…from road trips to utah and chicago, to camping at state parks around minnesota…i feel like we could’ve run our own outfitting group for travel adventures-

dett-fitters…

not only that, but my friend (nate) and i were able to take a long-awaited canoe trip down the southern part of the st. croix river…we had been talking about taking the trip off-and-on for the past 4 years…but, we both had experienced the arrival of our own children during that time–four children (two each), all told…so, i guess it wasn’t surprising that the trip wasn’t realized until just this summer?!

honestly, i’ve always loved the outdoors…but, i’ve been inspired, once again, by just how excited my children get when we go camping, especially, when we get the tent out…their sense of wonder is completely and absolutely unmatched…it is awesome…so, i was fired-up and determined to make the canoe trip happen this summer–and it was clear that nate was, too…

and as awesome as it was to have all those earlier adventures with my wife and kids…there was something equally as awesome (albeit different) about taking an overnight canoe trip with my friend…we put in at the osceola landing–after hitting the local pizza buffet and downing a couple of miller lites (it was 11am–so, that’s a good start right there)…we headed down the st. croix…the water was the perfect temperature, so we stopped a couple of times to get out and swim near some sand bars…afterwards, we continued on, stopping about 12 miles down to set up camp…after swimming and relaxing by the campsite the sun started to set…so, we went about our chores–and with a good campfire going, we had a hearty, man-made dinner of steak, potatoes and beans–and jack and cokes, of course (that dinner was tasty…and a bit nicer than what you’d get on your average outdoor trip, but hey, it was one night and we could pack the canoe!)… eventually, the fire faded, so we hung up our food and anything else that was “scented” (to keep the wild things away) and hit the hay…

the next morning, we woke to another sunny day…and a deer…checking out our campsite…just 10 feet away …it was unafraid…and, what an amazing sight?!  before breakfast, i had to make a run to the “bathroom”…so, with my trowel and tp in hand i walked a good distance from our site…i dug my hole and took care of business…there’s nothing better to test your mettle than “poopin’ in the woods” (i had to dig my hole pretty fast, too–it was coming!;) …anyways, after i shook out my leg cramp from my “yogi squat*”, i covered my hole with dirt and left no trace behind…i took care of the tp in our “burn can” (a new trick we learned), washed my hands, and relaxed as nate prepared breakfast–i was on dinner duty…

[*yes, i know what a “yogi squat” is…because i took a few yoga classes with my wife this summer…apparently, i need a few more classes, if i’m still getting leg cramps when crouching;)]

after a filling campfire omelette–eggs, cheese, and sausage in foil…and coffee…we took it easy and lounged a bit before hitting the river again…

all packed up and on the river, we continued south…we enjoyed the paddle and the conversation–it was good to be able to catch up on life…just “us men” and the open river…what a great trip it had been…

nate and i on the river

nate and i on the river

but, like all trips, there is a beginning and an end (or, at least, “until next time”)…and, after another 8 miles or so, we reached our destination–the boom site landing near stillwater, mn…

after loading up the canoe and gear, picking up the second vehicle near osceola, we returned to nate’s house to ‘break-down’ and claim our individual supplies…after a few words, we shook hands and went back to our everyday lives…

a few days later, when i was back at home, i thought…

it is important for men to do such things together, to have adventures together, to wonder…once again…at the world.

disturbing the peace

August 2, 2015 By in faith stories, mental states, observations Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

at the ultrasound, the sonographer told us, “yes, you are pregnant.”

we rejoiced.

then, he said, “wait a minute, there’s something…”

we froze. 

oh no, something’s wrong.

then, he said, “there’s another one, you’re going to have twins.”

we were shocked, floored–on the floor (literally)…we called family and friends and shared the news…a few days later, the aftershocks of what we were told started to hit us…it was an amazing, unexpected thing…and full of unknowns…

and, of course, “the unknowns” bothered me the most…

i had been dealing with some moderate levels of anxiety and panic before we got this news (details of which are best saved for another post or venue)…but, this news–the thought of having twins, two babies at once, ratcheted up the anxiety to new heights (as you could expect)…

i thought about going away for a night, to get my mind right…before the epic life change of “fatherhood” arrived…so, my wife, in her wisdom, mentioned a retreat center called pacem in terris–peace on earth–it was a place she had been to years before…a place where you can experience peace and quiet and solitude…

my wife, when telling me about this place, said that she had been there once (a while back) for a similar reason…for quiet solitude…she also told me that while the time away was good, she left back home before the full day was up… she told me that “the quiet” was too much for her…

i didn’t know what she meant, i didn’t know how powerful “the quiet” could be–until i went there myself…

so, i packed an overnight bag and a few snacks and headed up to pacem in terris…my wife had told me that all they provide is fruit, cheese, and bread–she knew better than most about my freakish metabolism–importantly, she knew that if i didn’t have a little extra sustenance i would first, shake…then tremble…and ultimately–implode…not good…

anyways, after a short drive (just north of the twin cities), i arrived and went to the welcome center…here, i was greeted by a sister (the place is faith-based and of the catholic variety–franciscan)…she welcomed me and visited with me for a short time about why i was there, some of the “rules of the hermitage*”–and she gave me a chapter from the bible to contemplate, if i wanted…it was psalm 139 (she told me that reading it over and over and over, like a meditation, was often a good thing to do)…

[*the little cabins on the property of the retreat center are called ‘hermitages’; and while you stay in an individual hermitage, you’re referred to as a ‘hermit’–there is no cost to stay there, though donations are appreciated]

she also told me (rather forcefully) that…one of the most important things about the hermitage was that it was a holy, peaceful, quiet space…and that, while i might see other hermits around (as i walked the footpaths of the property), i was not to speak to them, nor they to me–silence was the rule of the day, for every day..

so, i gathered my things and headed out to my hermitage…it was a tiny cabin, with a sink, bathroom, bed, and desk…on the desk table sat a basket that contained fruit, bread, cheese, and a welcome card…next to the desk, was a small burner, tea-pot and cup…after getting settled, i went about my day…i spent it sitting and journaling, reading a little henri nouwen, thinking about my wife (our life and twins), reading psalm 139, and walking on the footpaths…i only saw one other hermit on the trail…and we passed in silence like we were instructed to do…

day went on into night and i slept a quiet, restful sleep…before falling asleep, i thought to myself, my wife was right, it was difficult to stay quiet for that long (though i had only been there about 10 hours before ‘hitting the hay’)…but, i had made it to bedtime, with determination–all i had to do was sleep, wake up, and spend a few more hours at the retreat and i would accomplish what i set out to do…

waking up the next morning, i felt rested and alive and refreshed…this has been good, i thought…

so, i gathered my toiletries, towel, and a change of clothes and headed to the main building of the retreat center…it was the only place on the property that had showers for the hermits to use…i took a shower, washed my face, brushed my teeth, changed clothes, gathered my stuff and headed towards the bathroom door (it was a large single bathroom with a shower, sink, mirror, and toilet)…i was feeling good…

until…

i unlocked the latch, twisted the door knob and tried to open the bathroom door…

it wouldn’t budge…i jiggled the knob–no dice…i tinkered with the lock–nothing…i pushed/pulled on the door while jiggling the door knob–still nothing…

i looked at the door–stared it down, in fact…as if that would help…then, i looked around the bathroom…for anything, anything that i could use to ‘pop the hinges’ with…it wasn’t ideal, i didn’t want to ‘jack up’ the door, or worse, have to drop $200-$300 on a new door for the sisters…but, at that moment, it was better than the alternative…it was better than the unthinkable…

so, i scoured the bathroom…top to bottom, side to side…and found absolutely nothing to use…i also double-checked my shaving kit–nothing good in there, either…so, i put the lid on the toilet seat down, sat down, and chuckled to myself for a moment, thinking, i can’t believe this is happening?! then, i thought, my phone?! 

like a sweaty-toothed madman (shout out to ‘dead poets’, yo!), i searched my belongings…and found…my phone…i powered it on and found the number to the retreat center, i called it and got–the answering machine…the nuns were out…i cursed them under my breath…then immediately “crossed myself” and begged for forgiveness–sorry, sisters…

i called again and again…finally leaving a message…

uh, yeah, hello, i’m one of your hermits and i’m locked in the bathroom in the lower level of the main building…if you get this, can you please come and let me out… 

i sat back down again and thought to myself…

maybe God is trying to tell me something…like i need more time alone?!  or maybe, my wife needs more time alone back home?! 🙂 …subtle, real subtle, big guy…

time went by…

then, i knew what i was going to have to do…the unthinkable…

make some noise…

let me say that again, if i wanted to get out of there i was going to have to break the unbreakable rule for pacem in terris and “break the silence”-

so, i got up and walked towards the door…i tried to open it once more–no luck…i pressed my ear to the door, listening, hoping that another hermit might be passing by…i didn’t hear anything or anyone…so, i called out…

is anyone there? i’m locked in here.

[i used a medium level tone/volume–i wasn’t fully committed to ‘sounding off’ in the silent world of pacem in terris]

all i heard in return was absolute silence…

i cursed under my breath again…and pumped myself up for the next round…thinking…

i’m gonna have to ‘get loud’.

so, this time…i took a deep breath…and then shouted and banged on the door…

no more peace.

no more quiet.

i went on for about 10 minutes, until he showed up…

he said: hello, in there.

i said: are you a hermit?!

he said: no, i’m the maintenance man.

i thought: praise Jesus!

i said: great, i’m locked in here can you help me out?

he said: yep.

he tinkered with the lock…for exactly one minute…then, it popped open!

i thanked him (enthusiastically).

not too long after that, i packed up my belongings and headed home…on the drive back i thought a lot about my time there…especially, the last little bit…

and one of the things i was reminded of is that God has a sense of humor…and that sometimes, we are so very serious about our lives, too serious…especially us religious folks–and especially, us christians…on that day, i was reminded of the importance of not taking ourselves too seriously…and that, while some things are indeed sacred–it’s important to laugh at ourselves once in a while…

regardless of what new, “unknowns” await us on the horizon…

fury road (chicago)

June 20, 2015 By in herding (my own) cats Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

part II – the windy city

we did laundry, re-organized the van, had the scheduled maintenance done on the van–and slept in our own beds for two nights…and less than 48 hours after our trek to utah and back…we (mom, dad, son, daughter) continued the epic road trip of our lives…this time, we headed east, towards chicago…to see my sister there (for more details on my sister–see the post titled, “my sister, chris”)…

we knew we could make it…heck we just drove several thousand miles together…we made it through that trip, successfully, in large part to ‘how the kids did’ (and with the mercy of the Lord, of course)…yes, it was intense, and yes, our son had an ear infection…but, they managed surprisingly well…way better than i thought…i think ‘they did well’ because “my wife planned well” and had (in addition to episodes of “paw patrol” and “jake”) a lot of ‘low-tech’ activities for them…reading books, coloring/activity sheets and books, white boards, cars and action figures, etc. – and we had two “blessed bags of saving grace” from my wife’s coworker and friend, kate…thank you, kate…your stuff + my wife’s stuff made it fun for the kids!

anyways, this is my first person account of the second phase of fury road:

1. 1130am – we leave the twin cities (we had planned to leave at 9am).

2. 630pm – we arrive in chicago (one of the all-time great american cities) – making extremely good time (the drive seems like a snap after the previous adventure).

3. my sister, chris, makes pizzas.  we eat, talk, and relax.

4. we “hit the hay” – and set up camp in her two room apartment.

bedtime.

bedtime.

5. meltdown #1 happens – jack “goes ape” during breakfast at the lucky platter (we see the first signs of life on the road).

6. we recover.

7. we drive down to millennium park and hangout, play and eat italian ice; it turns out to be a fun day, especially for the kids…and it is great to have some time to catch up with chris and hear how her life is going and for her to hear the same from us…we’ve never had the kids with us in chicago before…it is great to see!

millennium park.

millennium park.

(more) millennium park.

(more) millennium park.

8. nap time.

9. meltdown #2 happens – jack and grace “go ape” after nap time (we see the next signs of life on the road).

10. the travels are catching up with the kids.  they are on the ropes.  minutes from a knockout. it looks bleak.

11. my wife uses her magic powers to “rally the kids”.

12. we recover.

13. we go to dave’s italian kitchen for my sister’s birthday dinner – great food; we come home, open presents and “face-time” with my parents–who are on face time for the first time, which makes the entire call all the more entertaining.

14-18. the day is good.  we have brunch, take naps, and ride the “l-train”.  jack and grace can hardly contain themselves (it’s as if thomas himself shows up).  the train pulls to a stop in front of them and we jump aboard…we ride the train for a “whole 15 minutes” (and it is worth it…just to see the looks on their faces).

L-train

L-train

19. 830am, the next morning, my wife and i exchange a “knowing look”–translation: yeah, we’re ready to be home.

20. 835am, i give jack his antibiotics and have a flashback to the utah trip (and feel a flash of anger)…medical school is not worth it...then, i try to coach myself back…thinking…let it go, let it go…

21. 836am, i can’t let it go.

22. 837am, i think to myself, i should’ve asked for some “meds”, too.

23. 838am, an ed sheeran song starts playing in my head–loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes…

24. 839am, repeat #22

25. 840am, i “dial it back in” and make 100 trips up and down 50 flights of stairs. to pack the van, i haul an amount of luggage/gear that would normally accompany a professional baseball team.

26. 9am, after a brief stop at dunkin’ donuts, we head home.

27. noon, we stop near madison, have lunch at panera with my wife’s friends.

28. on the drive back, i daydream about a novel new show for TV–amazing race–family style.

29. the idea causes me to have a minor panic attack on the road.

30. i recover.

31. i keep the idea to myself until now.

32. 530pm, home sweet home.

33. happy birthday, chris!

34. jack and grace are presented with their “road warrior” badges – way to go, kids–you’ve earned ’em!

i can’t believe that we just did all that…honestly…we made it…and, at the end of the day…upon reflection…it was insane, but it was also good–we also know that we are fortunate to have the time to do that together, as a family…to be able to be there (in person) and celebrate the people we love–first, with jamie and steve in utah…and then, with chris in chicago…it’s a gift…

daddy punched me

June 19, 2015 By in herding (my own) cats Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

after starting his antibiotics, jack started feeling better pretty quickly…so, at one of the wyoming hotel stops jack wanted to ‘wrestle with daddy’…after about 15 minutes of rough-housing, pillow wars and laughs we stopped to take a break…i looked over at jack and he was grabbing ‘hold of his abdomen…

at that point he said (in a half-sad voice)…

mommy, daddy punched me.

🙂

[i had landed on him at one point, but hadn’t punched him…come on, you’re ridiculous?! one of the things we’re starting to see is “some exaggerating” and “storytelling”–it’s usually hilarious, except when they say things like this in public]

fury road

June 18, 2015 By in herding (my own) cats Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

part I – the wild west

about a month ago, my wife and i were invited to the military ceremony of our brother-in-law (steve) who was being honored with a special promotion at hill air force base in utah…my wife was excited about the invite and wanted to be there for the ceremony…

so, i thought that she should fly out there and represent our family for the event…she thought that we all should go…but, not by plane (because that was too expensive)–instead, she thought the four of us (me, my wife and our 3 year-old twins) should drive out there…wouldn’t it be great if we could all be there for the ceremony, she said wistfully…

but, i was hesitant for 4 major reasons:

1. driving out there with our kids, with the age they’re at, sounded like suicide.

2. we had a timeline–we needed to be there by june 5th at 1444–and we wouldn’t be able to leave until after work on june 3rd (because we’re teachers and that was the last day of school with the kids in our classes).

3. it’s the end of the school year…and as any teacher can attest to, it’s not a time of the year when you’ve got extra energy in reserves.

4. we had already agreed to go to chicago to see my sister at about the same time as we’d be getting back from this trip…

[fyi…we live in minneapolis, people…which means we’re talking about an 18+ hour drive to get there in time]…

but, my wife really thought we should do it…

and, i gave in…tempted by the open road, propelled by my wife’s passion…

the following is a first person account of what went down, best as i can recall:

1. we leave the twin cities at 5pm on june 3rd.

life in the van

life in the van

2. we arrive at rapid city, south dakota at 230am.

3. we leave rapid city at 11am, and drive and drive and drive.

4. detour in wyoming.

5. we realize that there are only 5 roads in wyoming (and one of them is closed today).

6. the detour means we must drive north, then west, then south.

7. we drive and drive and drive (we see a lot of wyoming–almost all of it–beautiful state).

8. we arrive in layton, utah at 130am.

9. 8am, our son, jack, wakes up crying and with a fever (complaining of a sore throat).

10. 830am, jack and i go to urgent care (in utah it’s called ‘instacare’).

11. 850am, strep test done.

12. 9am, strep test = negative.

13. 915am, ears are checked–after 15 minutes of cleaning, 1 years worth of ear wax is removed from his ears–no wonder why he didn’t respond when i yelled at him ‘not to run into traffic’ 🙂

14. 920am, observation – “slightly red”.

15. 930am, diagnosis = virus.

16. 930am (continued) confirmation that…medical school could, in fact, be a waste of time and money.

17. doctor: “running another strep test” – “will let us know tomorrow”.

18. repeat #14.

19. because of the “not sure if it’s strep or not” diagnosis — the wife attends the ceremony solo.

20. let me say that again, the wife attends the ceremony solo.

21. i let out an insane laugh–from somewhere deep, deep inside.

22. the kids and i set up camp in the hotel room…i drink one (or more) jack and cokes throughout the day and keep “a close eye” on my children who happily watch the disney channel.

23-27. we have a great “next couple of days” (the nights were a little rougher)–hanging out with family and celebrating–we see ‘antelope island’, plenty of bison, have a bison burger, swim, eat, drink coffee, discuss the similarities between obi-wan and Jesus, see ‘devils slide’, wrestle john (my father-in-law), have some laughs and make some great memories–and we get the doctor to o.k. antibiotics after my son is unable to sleep for two nights–his ears were in bad shape, but his legs worked fine…he kicked me, repeatedly, in the back for two nights…now, that’s worth the trip right there...

bison!

bison!

great shot at antelope island!

great shot at antelope island!

the families at devils slide.

the families at devil’s slide.

28-32. we drive back. we take an extra day. first to casper…then, the round-about way to rapid city…the detour is still on…and since we’re pushed north we opt to take it a little further and see “longmire country” — stopping in buffalo, the city that the “longmire” books and show are based on–and we see more of wyoming–but not all 🙂 ….it is a great day on the road…not only are the antibiotics kicking in (oh, and i haven’t mentioned gracie, our daughter, in this regard because she has been a rockstar traveler–taking it all in stride)…but, buffalo is an amazing little town that sits snug on the edge of the big horn mountains…and the vista tempts the traveler to turn west along scenic highway 16 towards the tetons and yellowstone…hard as it is, we resist the pull west…and turn towards south dakota…that same day we reach mount rushmore (which is a sight of it’s own)…and jack says, of mount rushmore, ‘i liked the guy with the beard best’…and then to rapid city for the night.

the busy bee cafe as featured in 'longmire'.

the busy bee cafe as featured in ‘longmire’.

the presidents!

the presidents!

33. the next day, we cross south dakota, with a sneak peek at the badlands.

34. then, home sweet home.

35. “cheers, steve (and jamie)–way to go!”

[stay tuned for “fury road” part II – the windy city]

i am who you say i am…

May 23, 2015 By in teaching and coaching Tags: , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

[here is a copy of the speech i gave to all of my high school classes, on may 21st of this year (2015)–the last day for seniors…and they seemed to like it :)]

 

I

This is one of my favorite, all-time, movie clips…and I love the line…

“You see us how you want to see us.”

That’s how it ends…but, when we first meet each of these kids in Saturday Detention they seem to fit all the common stereotypes of kids we could run into at any school–the brain, the jock, the rebel, the outcast/crazy, the rich princess, etc…

But, like life, like real life…there’s more to the story…they are more than that, more than just simple stereotypes…like most people, like you–they are a lot more complicated than that…because, as you know, people don’t always fit into convenient little boxes.

Eminem takes it up this way…

And I am, whatever you say I am

If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am?

In the paper, the news every day I am

Radio won’t even play my jam

‘Cause I am, whatever you say I am

In the paper, the news every day I am

I don’t know it’s just the way I am

 

While I don’t hold to all the lyrics in all his songs…you can’t deny Eminem’s genius and charisma…and, there’s a truth in these lyrics for all to see; for him it reflects his personal experience—but, like all good music…it taps into something larger, it strikes a universal nerve…b-bam, bam…it may hit home with you, too…because his words reveal a truth about everyday life…and the things that people try to label you with…or try to box you in with…by using their words.

What we see, if we dare to look closer…are the layers that lie beneath the surface…like an onion, if you peel the skin back, there’s something under there, another layer…and another and another…and, in a like manner, there’s a lot more to people, to most people, than what we see on the outside…there’s a lot more to you than what people see on the outside…to you and you and you…

 

II

So, what do people see when they see you?  Who do they say you are?  Do they know you?

How do you feel when they get it wrong?  When they tag you with something that’s hurtful and mean?  When they try to label you? Try to box you in?

Are you who they say you are?

When someone says something hurtful about you, about “who you are”—it’s like getting punched in the gut.  It’s like getting the wind knocked out of you.

Have you ever had that experience?  Been knocked down?  Struggled, fought to catch your breath?

Well, words can do that, too.  Harmful words can knock the wind out of you.  Make you lose your breath.  You have to breath to live, right?!  So, if breath is life, then what we’re talking about is pretty serious.

Words can take life away.

And, of course…

The opposite is true, too…for good words.

When someone says something good about you, about “who you are”—it’s like getting a boost, it’s the best transfusion, the most amazing injection of spirit that you can get…one that propels you forward in aliveness.

Yeah, it’s pretty serious.

Words can give life.

Words can give life.  Words can take life away.

Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about…

One day, I noticed that a girl in my class was upset about something.  It was noticeable because this particular student was usually upbeat about life in general.  When I asked her about it, she said that nothing was wrong.  A few days later, I brought it up again and this time she told me what was wrong.  She told me that she “had a falling out” with one of her best friends…because her best friend had changed recently—she said that her best friend was becoming increasingly mean towards her—telling her that she was worthless and stupid and dumb (words that hurt, words that sting–especially, if they’re coming from someone who is your friend and ally)…so, as you can imagine, it was bringing her down…and she looked like she had been sucker-punched, she looked like the wind had been knocked out her…

Words can take life away.

On the flip side…

I’ve seen kids say the best things that kids can say to one another.  Legitimately, support and encourage each other.  I’ve seen it happen in this very room–all year-long.    I’ve seen you do it for each other.   Whether a “thumbs up”, a “good job”, or “I’ve got your back”–I’ve seen you elevate someone’s spirit with a single kind word…I’ve seen your classmates shine…as a result of the good words you’ve shared…

Words can give life.

Doesn’t mean that you still don’t feel the sting of earlier slights and put downs…those kind of things stick with you…those kind of things are hard to shake…but, importantly, those words don’t define you, don’t encompass all that you are, don’t represent you fully—not even close–those words aren’t true, after all…nor do they (always) define the individuals who speak them …some things and some words are spoken when someone is having “a really bad moment”–we’ve all been there, too.

At the same time, for you all…in the world you live in, right now…it is a bit more intense…with technology and social media…words aren’t just spoken, they are texted and posted–and shared and shared and shared…they stay…they stick…they are always there, hovering in the background…it is impossible to get away from ‘em, or it feels that way at least…it’s hard to find some quiet, to find some safe space in that…

When it feels like the world is always coming at you.  When people won’t let you be.

Words can take life away.

 

III

So, for you…all of you…juniors and seniors…especially, you seniors…young men and young women…

Hear me now…hear my words of life…

Despite what people may say to you…know that you are:

Strong

Beautiful

Worthy

Amazing

Smart

Adventurous

Creative

Faithful

Hardworking

Brave

Compassionate

Funny

Loyal

Tough

Warmhearted

Considerate

Fearless

Optimistic

 

And much more…so much more…

That’s what I see, that’s what I know…

Hear me now…hear my words of life…

 

When people put you down, you will rise.

When people drive you down, you will rise.

When people knock the wind out of you, you will rise.

When people try to take a little bit of your life away,

You will rise

You will live

You will shine

Believe it

I do

 

YOU ARE…MORE THAN…WHO THEY SAY YOU ARE…

 

I love you guys. Cheers!

just kickin’ it…

May 4, 2015 By in herding (my own) cats Tags: , , Leave a comment

this past weekend, my kids (jack and grace) played in their first soccer game with their ymca team…

there was a lot of build up and excitement leading up to the game…

which can be pretty much summed up like this…

the kids kicked the ball a couple of times, but mostly spent time lying on the ground and crying…

so, in other words…

pretty much like what we see in the english premier league (said my sister, chris)…

🙂

civil war

May 1, 2015 By in mental states Tags: , , , , 2 Comments

in honor of national mental health month, i’d like to dedicate the following poem to all those who suffer or who have suffered mental illness…as well as the friends and families of those individuals–peace be with you.

civil war

the most savage war i ever fought

was the one i waged

against myself.